Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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