how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
