LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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