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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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