My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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