she was so not down for the gang bang
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she told me i tasted like america
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
