i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
