Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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