THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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