You work out of a Hotel?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
