Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Acid is not a monday night drug
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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