do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
