meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
