i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
