erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
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