.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
