sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
