The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
