I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
