dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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