we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
