I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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