You work out of a Hotel?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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