I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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