I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize