Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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