You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize