Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
