I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
