well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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