Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
