A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
