I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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