I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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