It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
