tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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