Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
