Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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