Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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