Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Even my vagina gasped.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We have so much sex to catch up on
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
