one word: firstdatebathroomanal
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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