wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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