i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
