He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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