Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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