Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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