and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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