I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
