Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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