So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
