It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
