I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
