Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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