video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
