did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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