Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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