Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize