I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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