People with herpes should wear stickers.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
